Well.. lately i'm clearin my offs n leaves, so most of e time i'll be free n at home.. convertin to a zai nan soon. But Dun noe issit due to e too much free time i got or wat, my mind kip tinkin n tinkin non stop.. also dun noe tinkin wat.. jus dat too many things are goin on around me n sumtime i feel dat it'll soon wreck my brain. To be honest, i hate bein alone.. i hate e feelin of bein left out.. i hate it wen i'm useless.. Dun noe wat's gotten into me n all this pathetic feelin is revolving around me.. Wat is e definitions of frens? Can u trust ur frens? Are e ppl u so called frens are jus puttin up an act in front of u? are u living in e world of distrust? hmm.. Issit worthwhile to put in effort to connect n buildup a frenship wif another person? Well.. they can be nice at this moment, but can jus stab ur back if u let ur eyes slipped. Everybody is changing.. for e better? or e worse?
Being too free at home isnt really a good thing.. I looked through e contacts in my phone for many many times.. Who is truely my fren? i noe there is a list of ppl in my contacts i truely considered u my frens n sumone i can trust. But frankly speakin.. e list is short.. its kind of pathetic u noe.. living for 22yrs now, n u only got a such a short list of frens.. So wat if u got big numbers in ur facebook or frenster or myspace. There r numerous times i wanted to ask sumone for advices or sumtime is jus meet up for a meal.. well.. i dun noe who to call... Well.. everyone is busy wif their stuff so cant blame them cos sumtime is really too last min for them. But in some cases.. it plannin b4 hand.. but u can sense e reluctancy in thier reply evenin they try to hide it so well.. too bad... my sensitvity lvl is high at times.. These so called frens... sumtime i'm quite fed-up wif it.
Well.. i guess i've wasted majority of my 22yrs on this earth... I did nt try to increase my social netwrk more wen i got e chance... regrettin it nw.. Socialisin skills thus became one of e hardest things to me.. I dun hav much frens.. n i'm jus another pathetic fools on earth.. hopefully i dun end up wif nth n thus became e loneliest man on earth..
Bless those whom considered me as ur fren.